Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Statistical Sunstroke

Just taking a glance at the BBC website today makes me think that some People in the UK are obviously suffering from the effects of too much sun. What is that all about eh ? Temperatures of 32°C, and out come a plethora of warnings from those "eejits" in Westminster to "Drink more water"....Oh really, are we that stupid ? i would have thought they would have realised by now that the vast majority of the British public are quite intelligent enough to make 2+2=4, which is more than can be said for the (Dis) Honourable Gentlemen.
Anyway, i digress....the point is, is that some people somewhere are obviously going down with heat stroke, take for instance the ONS, the finely titled Office for National Statistics. Apparently the economy in the UK has contracted by 2.4% in the 1st quarter of this year, but they are expecting the 2nd quarter figures to be better when they come out in July.
Riiiight, so this tells me that they have spent 2 months coming to the 1st quarter figure on the 30th June, and now they are telling us, that not only do they have crystal balls telling them what the 2nd quarter will be like almost instantly, but they will then prove that to us by coming out with a figure for the 2nd quarter in July......whats happened, have they got a faster abacus or something ?
Another statistic for you, House prices have gone up in May by 0.9%...really ? Firstly do any of you know anyone who has actually sold a house recently, and i mean really sold it ? and Secondly, does anyone know of any banks who are currently lending out real money to real people ? The words "rocking horse" shit spring to mind on both the above points.
Another report today states that manufacturing has dramatically declined, but industrial production has just shown its 1st rise for over a year....So what exactly does this tell us ?
What does this increasing daily volume of contradictory statistics and estimates made by Organisations and persons living in the south of the UK actually mean ? Are we at the bottom of the cycle ? are there really green shoots ? is this a Depression ? Does Gordon really talk to Martians? do we really care come to think of it ?
The hard fact of life is, is that we all over borrowed, some more than others it must be said. Then we all started to talk ourselves into a Depression, and now we are all trying to talk our way out of it.... Cyclical Lemmings.
The reason i know that these statistics are manipulated by the sun, and emanate from the People and Organisations who are based in the South of the UK........please just take a look at the fine Summer Evening photo below, taken from my garden yesterday....i would say that we are still in the Depression phase !


Monday, 29 June 2009

Sunsets, MJ and all of that.

Yup, You guessed correctly, the fuse has been replaced, and lo and behold we have communication. Having said that though, i have to ask myself did i really want to have access to the net today, as i now find that some Sicko has leaked the MJ Autopsy, and whats worse a UK newspaper is happy to lead with it on their front page......I mean what is that all about ?
You have to just shake your head at what is being said, its bad enough if half of it is true. Don't get me wrong, i am no major MJ fan, although i believe his music was absolutely beautifully produced and presented....I mean look at "Its raining in Moscow", those chords send shivers up my spine, and that slo mo video is unbelievable. But what i will say, his family need to take some responsibility for all of this. I mean, would you sit back and watch your Son or Daughter get manipulated the way he so obviously has....it was a life completely out of his control, and isn't that awfully, awfully sad, and made worse by Persons who loved him allowing this to continue to this desperate conclusion.
One last thing, why is everyone buying all his records/discs again.... ask Yourself, who exactly is going to benefit from the money that his catalogue is producing ?

Its a kind of depressing day to be honest, so to jerk myself out of this melancholy, let me leave you with an uplifting photo showing just how good life is out here on the ocean waves sometimes.


Sunday, 28 June 2009

IT to be or not to be ......?

I seem to be pondering this question more and more as i sit here looking at a blank screen, or when i see an error message saying that my DNS server cannot find the domain....of the BBC Website, Oh yeah ?
Here we are, a not inconsiderable International oil services Company, and i am currently unable to email, phone, log onto our (dripping with sarcasm voice....wonderful) Intranet, and worst of all get on the net and update this wretched Blog.
Like all stories, it has a beginning, and also like most stories it started with an idea in some bored Numb Nuts head in the corporate IT department. Who, having just finished straightening out the paperclips that He or She had found stuck between the keys, or in that stupid wee tray you always seem to get near to the top of the keyboard, decided to....lets all hear it now....."Reset the server".
Now, as far as i am aware with my limited knowledge of all things computer, there was nothing wrong with the server in the first place. the reason i can say that with some authority, is that before the Village Idiot in question pressed the reset button, i could email my friends and colleagues (not necessarily seen in the same category !), and i could damn well communicate and be communicated with.
Now as soon as the button was depressed....nada. Well, not quite nada if truth be told. As yes, i do occasionally manage to get the front page of a site up, or hear the phone ringing out if i carefully log on/dial at the correct nanosecond of earth's alignment in relationship to Jupiter and Mars; but then it all just stops, to be replaced by the increasingly familiar DNS error message, or the engaged tone.
So essentially what we have here is an IT Prick tease, who whats more has timed things to perfection, and pressed the button on a Friday evening, before scampering out to enjoy a weekend of lust, or nose picking in Paris.
Needless to say, the people at the sharp end, ie me and 2500 colleagues, who toil (no exaggeration here) 24/7 out in the field to create the earnings for this company to remain afloat, and even worse, pay the wages of a joke of an IT Department, are currently without life's essentials of communication, knowledge, alcohol and sex....well you can scrub the last 2, as its a non alcohol workplace, plus the nearest looking Female is Joey the Galley Boy......but you get my drift.
lets hope that after a suitably debauched and relaxing weekend involving Pygmies, animals, feathers, and "oops, so that's what an oyster tastes like", that our IT Colleagues can find it in themselves to knock a few synapses together, and change the fuse that has quite obviously blown when the power was reset on the server.

Later.....maybe !

Its a start - but not as we know it !

I guess there is always a first entry ( I wonder how many people begin their blogging with these words or similar ? - make a personal note to check all blogs now looked at for 1st entry !) .
I imagine if i keep up with this for any length of time, before boring myself completely to death with the sheer ordinariness of my existence, i will look back at the 1st few entries and cringe with further embarrassment, but hey, who gives a tinkers cuss....onward.
Subsequent entries as we get going, should begin to reveal more about my job, but I can say for now that i am lucky (or should that be unlucky) to work in the Oil and Gas sector ( boo hiss etc etc from the back row tree huggers), my hobbies (If any), bits (that i want you to know about...) of My Life, and just rants about daft things that you see in the papers/internet.
So, as you can see, there is going to be nothing new or Earth shattering with this blog, in fact it is safe to say, all of the above will be being done elsewhere in a far superior fashion, and in a more entertaining way by a long distance....But for me, i will see it as a bit of soul cleansing in an entirely random jumble of thoughts, reality and bullshit.