Friday, 17 July 2009

Oh to be a Doctor...

Yesterday I pottered off for my bi-annual Offshore medical, the last bi-annual one I was cheerfully told by the Doc who examined me, as I was about to reach the magic age of 50, which would then mean it went to an annual MOT of my aging body, thereby increasing their revenue from me twofold for the remaining number of years i would continue to work in this daft job of mine.
15 minutes later, after checking my heart was still beating..... after a fashion, exhibit some kind of coordination, when all extremities were moving all at once ie walking (who says Men can't multitask eh ?), and finally read some letters on the wall, I was declared fit enough to work Offshore.....and that would be 75 squid Sir, Oh thank you very much Sir, suits you Sir etc etc.
15 mins and 75 squid....nice job.........thats 300 squid an hour, and if he manages to do say, a 6 hr day after (a liquid) lunch and a bit of rumpy pumpy with the Nurses, then he's taking home 1800 squid a day, or 9 grand a week....and we worry about Fred the Shred and all those other WBankers salaries !
In the good old days, some 20 something years ago, when Men were Men, and Sheep were scared, they at least still had the decency to give you maybe, lets see....about 42 mins of their valuable time, and if you were unlucky enough to work in the Norwegian Sector of the North Sea, you had the added dubious pleasure of a very large, normally bearded (and you should have seen the Men!), Noggie Doctor attempting to insert an over size digit into a part of your body where the Sun don't shine. You got all that excitement for 15 squid.....Those were the days !
Anyway, after the shock of discovering what these smiling assassins earn, and considered fit and able to work, and as it was a lovely evening, I managed to struggle through a Dog Walk at our nearby Golf course, before pouring Myself a large one or three to celebrate my potential ability to keep working,well for at least another year; and if the Buggers don't make me redundant in the meantime....cue the photo's.



  1. What I want to know is where the hell you managed to find a Noggie doc who only charged 15 quid to stick his digit up you? I can't find one who does it for less than 20.
    BTW which course is that? Guthrie?

  2. Name and address can always be supplied Neil !!

    The Golf course is Letham Grange.